also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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