I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
