I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
