If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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