i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
