Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
