K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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