Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
