i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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