he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
