maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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