you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize