wanna go halves on a baby?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
