i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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