I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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