Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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