kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
