Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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