I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
