I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
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I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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