CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
