I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
