I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
