You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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