Pants 0. Shit 1.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
