i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize