There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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