I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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