Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
It was confusing and full of hummus
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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