A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
