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i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
