census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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