I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
