I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
