Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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