just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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