weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
