Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
