You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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