He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
