it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
