fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
