After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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