I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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