I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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