Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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