I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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