So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
