i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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