She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
