Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
