lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
