Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
