It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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