Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
