Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
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Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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