I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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