I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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