Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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