I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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