Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
