Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
