Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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